I'm super bored.
And I'm super depressed too.
Because right after I received that dance camp sms from ms yeo
then I realise how I don't feel a sense of belonging to nymd anymore.
Even if I still have,
its not as strong.
And it feels so horrible to be aware of that.

Therefore, on Thursday
I must reach school at 8AM for dance camp.
9-12, woosh! Go for bio mass lecture.
Then 12-3. WHAT I DO.
Go home also cannot.
Go somewhere else, maybe there'll be time, but I don't think anyone would be free.
3-5 Dance camp.

Friday
8.30-10.30
1.30-3.30
dance camp

THEN 10.30 TO 1.30 WHAT I DO.

It feels so horrible to be like this.
Nowhere to go. Nothing to help.
Makes me feel like a useless and lousy person.
Makes me feel like I don't belong.

Sigh sigh sigh.
Who wants to be a kind soul and be my listening ear for at least an hour.
Just sms me and we can chat on the phone.

Yah, but then no one knows this blog yet.
So no one will answer.

I SHALL FA YANG GUANG DA THIS BLOG TOMORROW.
After I've done some editing to the posts.
As not to offend people and get into serious trouble.
And land myself back into square one.
For trying to be social instead of being antisocial.

Saturday!
8.30-10.30 Dance camp
12.30 Piano lesson.
THerefore I'm spending 10.30-12.30 to whoosh to admiralty.
Just enough time actually.
From school to woodlands.
Grab a quick bite.
Then to admiralty.


HAIYAH. I feel so pessimistic. Cynical. And depressed.
I really really feel so.
Give me 30 secs(not ten I'm not an actress. I have to pei yang qing xu) and I can just cry.
This holiday have been so miserable.
I was crying when I was bathing.
Almost when I was washing the dishes.
Just now before I was typing this.

I think I'm going to turn mad.




ANYWAY. To make myself happier. I shall write about more positive stuff.
Like how I got to know kexin more through lifeskilss camp =)
Kexin's my lab partner =) Very very nice one =)
It's like chem lab I do until mong cha cha I can go ask her.
Then bio lab I'll just skip off one part and we don't tell anyone else.
Physics just trying to time and count and etc.
But I always thought she's quite softspoken.

UNTIL LIFESKILLS CAMP.
See her laugh like siao with qianwen I was like WHOA o.0
She's not softspoken after all.
In fact she's very fun =)

During bridge when I called out 10 of diamonds for partner, then she'll be like: whoa so leng men. Then another round qianwen was calling out 8 of something, hearts I think. Then again she went: whoa so leng men again.
And then during one of the sets, when she put a card and yinghong put next then she went: you're trying to xiao3 wo3 you're my partner isit?
Hilarious =)

I shall work towards learning more about kexin.
I realise I've been yi3 mao4 qu3 ren2-ing for a very long time.
Must change that.

Getting to know kexin more feels super super nice =)

AH now I feel so much better.

Better end this off now. So that its still 130307 instead of 140307.

BUT since I still can't sleep, I shall type another post later on.

Then around one if I STILL cannot sleep.
Then I go kajiao qianwen. Whom i think still hasn't sleep yet.
As she said something about 'reaching back only at 12' or something quite a few times.

YUP =)))

I FEEL BETTER AND HAPPIER =)

But don't doubt it, I still have serious problems with myself.

URGH.

lalalalalala.

Hmmm.